Thursday, March 26, 2009

this tornado loves you///part 3

alicia & i got together in the summer of our 7th grade. she'd been in my science class taught by mr studstill(i swear). he'd arranged the seating into quads, four desks set together, two facing two. alicia sat directly across from me, facing me. i don't remember who the other two at our "quad" were. at the time, they were invisible to me anyway. alicia was the only thing i saw.

actually i saw more than you'd imagine. i used the oldest trick in the book, the "dropped pencil," to look up alicia's relatively short dresses. at first, tho thrilling, her white cotton underwear was a bit of a disappointment. still, her long legs were gorgeous & knowing that just that little bit of cotton material was separating me from the most profound mystery of life sent me into masturbatory paroxysms every afternoon when i got home from school.

at some point, i noticed the white cotton underwear had been replaced by tiny silky multi-colored panties. my head nearly exploded the first time i saw these. a year later, alicia admitted she knew what i had been doing & wanted to tease me. she said she figured i'd realize she knew & would proceed w/our "relationship" accordingly. i was 13yo &, while i was shredding my poor little cock nightly in marathon jack-off sessions, the idea that a girl, an object of desire, would be willingly providing me w/material for these exercises just escaped me.

at some point, late in the school year, sally told me alicia liked me. up until that moment, our "attraction" had been defined by teasing, name calling, & probably some pushing or punching or some other kind of disguised attempts at physical contact. we had been in mr manning's art class(an elective, as i recall, to replace p.e. for a semester)& she'd been impressed w/a piece of pottery i'd done. that was as close as we'd gotten to "couple" behavior. i mean, she liked something that had something to do w/me. but i was a little intimidated by the news that she actually liked me. what did that mean? what was i supposed to do? i suspected a trick of some kind.

sally reassured me. if i asked alicia to go steady, she'd accept. this was a complex ritual, this "going steady" thing. first, you had to have some token, usually a bracelet w/the boy's name engraved on it, to give to the girl. then, you had to actually ask. then, there was an entire set of rules of behavior once the "going steady" was finalized. all this made me dizzy w/apprehension & desire. should the bracelet be gold or gold plated or just silver? what kind of engraving should be done & did the different kinds of materials & techniques signify different levels of commitment? where would i get the money to pay for this extravagance & who handled these kinds of objects? what if she said no? or laughed? or recoiled in horror? or said, " i like you as a friend...".

sally reassured me & filled me in on the practical details(elebash's on palafox, $30 for a silver bracelet w/$5 engraving fee, etc). she even agreed to kind of run interference for me & let alicia know when i'd be asking. i will say for myself, when it all came down, i did step outside my fears(mainly because sally had assured me it was a done deal). i replaced the bracelet in the jewelery box w/my 7th grade school picture. it popped up when you opened the box.

we were walking down the north hallways of workman jr high school, just after our last period class. i sputtered out my entreaty as boldly as i could & she, quite sweetly, said yes immediately. i gave her the gift wrapped box. we stood at her locker & she opened it. my picture popped up. she stared blankly at the image. the joke fell flat at our feet. i quickly pulled the bracelet out of my pocket & her face brightened into a huge smile. she slipped the bracelet onto her thin wrist. she was beaming. i suppose i was too. "i have to catch my bus," she said. "ok, don't miss it...ha ha ha," i said. what was i suppose to say? she ran out an exit door to the bus stations.

walker came up. "well?," he asked. jimmy hadn't been much help during all this. he'd always acted like he was a ladies' man but he knew less than me about what to do. "we're going steady," i said. "c'mon, we'll miss the bus," he said.

another initiation. my first girlfriend.

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